29 - Henry VIII

My Gawd but this was hard work! True snores-ville! Never read the play before but of course everyone knows the story and in fact this is only a third of it (I'm thinking Billy-Boy missed a trick at another trilogy). 

I'm afraid I'm still on a 'Carry On' kick as a recently introduced my kids to 'Carry on Cleo' following my reading of Antony and Cleopatra. So I couldn't shake that other classic 'Carry on Henry' with Sid James as the titular King. Helping along the way were also Terry Scott as Cardinal Wolsey and Kenneth Williams as Cromwell, who had such a way with words himself -

"I'll read it to you. It's just a simple little confession. "In as much as I, Roger de Lodgerley, of Bedside Manor, Wilts, hereinafter referred to as the party of the first part, did unlawfully, with malice aforethought and without taking due precaution, on the night of October 4th last, admire, covet, blandish, cosset, seduce and otherwise get at Marie, spouse to Henry Tudor, hereinafter referred to as the party of the second part, I do now hereby solemnly declare, and in witness thereof I append my signature below, that the resulting issue, herein after referred to as the party of the third part, is the direct consequence of the joining together of the party of the first part's and the party of the second part's parts.""

We do get another of the Bard's trippy vision things - as we did back in Cymbeline. This time it's Queen Katherine who's been chasing the Tudor dragon and sees 'tripping' spirits with garlands of flowers in their hair. Very Hippy-Shakespeare-Shake!

Ready for a quick 'Bard Fact'? During a performance of 'Henry VIII' at the Globe Theatre in 1613, a cannon was fired as a special effect but consequently burnt the place to the ground. Now how's that for bringing the house down!

And Finally - In truth it's all about the begating of Good Queen Bess! Although I not sure a new born babe really wants to hear at her christening that she'll die a virgin. Better the spinning wheel prick and sleep for a hundred years option. At least then you're on a Princely promise in the long, long term...

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27 - Antony and Cleopatra

Thought I'd be bored by this one espaially comparing it to the Morecombe and Wise sketch or 'Carry on Cleo'. But surprisingly the whole play as well as being a tale of love and power also has a sitcom feel to it. What with eunuch gags and comedy messengers the most serious person in the whole play seems to be the clown in the final act!

During a lull in the fighting over the Empire we get an 'Only Fools and Horses' style Jolly-Boy's booze cruise on Pompey's private boat in Act II. The most powerful men in the civilised world getting drunk and talking rubbish about crocodiles and quicksand! I envisaged Antony holding back the hair of Lepidus, who sits on the floor with his head over a bucket, while Caesar struts around with a traffic-cone on his head!

Cleopatra's death may well be dignified and noble but not so poor Antony's. What a farce! First he asks his mate Eros to kill him, but Eros kills himself instead. Then Tony throws himself on his sword but botches the job. Then finally he gets a bunch of guardsmen to carry him to Cleopatra but rather than use the stairs they lift up and over a balcony! This is less Shakespeare more 'Some Mothers Do 'Ave Em' ("Ooh Cleo! The Sphinx has done a woopsie in me helmet!")

And Finally - Just to round off the Cockney-esque capers we have Cleopatra's call of "Let's to billiards" (Who'd of thought that the Queen of the Nile would be snooker-loopy!)...

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21 - Julius Caesar

This has been the hardest read yet. Not because of the text but because of my own history with the play.

In my post on Romeo and Juliet I mentioned that the REPO men had tackled one other of the Bard's back catalogue and this was it. REPO productions were proud to present... a three man version of Julius Caesar heavily edited so as to play for laughs but with a bit of pathos thrown in for good measure! I played Brutus, another played Cassius, the third both Caesar and Anthony. We filled in for those other parts which had made it past the edit by wearing different hats or coats but always in togas and army boots! The only other person on stage was Sooty (also in a toga) who we needed in the conspirators scene to swell the numbers.

So my problem now is that as I read it I can still see and hear all the gags - Caesar in Groucho specks, nose and tash; constant references to Cassius passing wind; the senate assassination undertaken with flowers rather than daggers ("At-choo Brute!"); and a moving mime show, of the senseless slaughter as Roman fought Roman, to the haunting strains of Morriconi's score from 'The Mission'. I know there is also an excellent play by Shakespeare in there somewhere but it's hard to see. 

Having said that I believe our version was great fun and the closest yet that I have come to performing Shakespeare in full. We staged it originally to try and be short-listed for a student drama competition, although unfortunately we didn't get through. The organisers did, however, ask us if we wanted to put it on as a cabaret act for the actual competitors. But as they wouldn't have been paying us we declined - shame really.

And Finally - Strange, but I can't find one classic line in my text - "Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in-for-me!"

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