A Guide to How Shakespeare’s Characters Kick the Bucket

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'Theatre of Blood' Trailer

Original trailer for Vincent Price's 1973 film 'Theatre of Blood'

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Quote #015

"Tut, I have done a thousand dreadful things
As willingly as one would kill a fly;
And nothing grieves me heartily indeed,
But that I cannot do ten thousand more."

Aaron - 'Titus Andronicus', Act V, scene 1

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15 - Titus Andronicus

Hands up who likes blood! Well, then this is the play for you! It has four beheadings as well as the lopping off of three hands, one person torn limb from limb, another buried chest deep and left to starve and the removal of one tongue. Not to mention the final scene’s gastronomic nightmare. In all I count twelve deaths in Titus with nine of them happening on stage. This isn’t so much a blood-bath as a blood-bathroom suite; complete with blood-basin, blood-bog and blood-bidet!

'Theatre of Blood' - 1973

Personally I’ve never been a big lover of ‘slasher’ movies with tonnes of guts and gore so I’d probably give this play a miss if anyone went for a ‘full on’ adaptation. However, I was reminded of the great Vince Prince movie ‘Theatre of Blood’ where a ham actor has his revenge of his critics by killing each off in the style of a different Shakespearean murder. In the movie Robert Morley gets the Andronicus treatment by eating his ‘babies’ cooked in a pie! Although fortunately his babies in this case are a couple of poodles!

And finally – Maybe a musical version would lighten the tone. Set it the swinging Sixties it could use hit songs by the Beatles, such as “If I Fell (into your grave)”, “I Want to Hold Your Hand (but not the rest of you)”, “Lady Tamora (children are your meat)” and “Help! (I killed somebody) Help! (In fact everybody) Help! (I’ve killed my son) Help!”

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